party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
