I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
