the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
