Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
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