what day is it and did you see me today?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I deserve this hangover.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
