Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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