so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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