Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
