Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
