I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
