Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
it's great music for shaving your balls
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
