your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
