So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
