this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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