Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
