She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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