You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
only if we run a train.
done.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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