I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
