John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
sex in a hospital.. check
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize