I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
