and you said cock pushups were impossible
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
