i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
