we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
