I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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