I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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