i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
