he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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