My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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