HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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