I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
