If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
