Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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