i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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