After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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