Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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