my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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