In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
