My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
well you can't waste a boner
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
