so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
we're making bets on your personal life
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
