I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Pappa wants mamma naked
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
