I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
