I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize