so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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