His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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