Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
