I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
