and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
