why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
