He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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