remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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