i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
