thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Randomize
