Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Randomize
