Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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