i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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