That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
