Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize