I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
